Fortune favors the bold
by scarface101
Summary: After an attempted suicide, Naruto quickly finds that his luck has turned around. With more than a few tricks up his sleeve, he'll take the Nations by storm. (Gambler Naruto.) (Inspired by 'The Gambler' by ZenoNoKyuubi.) Naruharem. Some Bashing, lemons, slight multi-xover, and Cats!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Something that came to mind out of seemingly nowhere... Okay... maybe I drew some inspiration. Hope you enjoy... onto the credits!**

 **Starring: Anime's perfect idiot, A bunch of hot chicks, some gratuitous crossover guests, and annoying ass villains (Mainly OP Sharingan using assholes).**

 **Owned by: The True Villain of the Narutoverse and hater of Fanfiction.**

 **Inspired by (Ripped off.): 'The Gambler' by ZenoNoKyuubi. (Props to him.)**

 **Fanfic Written by: Fanfiction's most loveable and unreliable author.**

 **Supported by: The real heroes here, all you amazing fans and readers. (Big shoutout to VFSNAKE, XXX777, Skull Flame, SonSanbi23, Fighting Joe, and Spider-Man999 who are some of my biggest supporters.)**

 **Warning: Lemon in Chapter.**

 **Chapter one: Pilot.**

In the apartment of Naruto Uzumaki, the blonde boy sighed as he sat all alone. It was the night of his birthday and he was feeling extremely depressed, for he had failed the Academy exam for the first time and the entire class had mocked him for his failed Clone Jutsu. On top of that, Anko Mitarashi, one of the few friends he actually had was on a long-term mission and wouldn't be back for some months.

Naruto grumbled to himself as he wondered why he got the short end of the stick to everything. Why didn't he have parents? Why did he have to bear the Kyuubi? Why did he have to be a doormat for the village to walk on? He was so tired of it all... that he couldn't take it anymore... and resolved to kill himself to free himself of this suffering.

Grabbing a box of matches, he goes behind his stove to rip out the gas line to allow his apartment to fill up with it. After a few moments he sighed and then lit the match, expecting a loud 'kaboom'... except no explosion happened. For a moment he was confused but then sniffed the air and found that no gas had come out from the line. "Oh, right. I forgot the gas was shut off. New plan then." the blonde muttered to himself as he doused the match and grabbed a nearby toaster.

He brought it to the bathroom and turned on the water, filling his tub full of water. Sure it would have to be cold water, but he'd have to work with what he had. "The old toaster trick should work." the blonde said to himself as he stripped out of his usual god-awful orange jumpsuit and slowly lowered himself into the cold water. He shivered from the cold and then turned on the toaster, prepared to drop it into the water... only for the power to blink out which turned the toaster off again.

"DAMN FAULTY WIRING!" the blonde yelled as he threw the toaster away and got out of the tub. Drying himself off with a towel to get rid of some of the cold liquid. With a frustrated growl, he came to his bed and ripped off the sheets. Tying them into a makeshift noose for himself as he went back to the kitchen area.

After preparing the makeshift noose and tying the other end to something sturdy enough to keep him in the air, the whiskered boy stood on top of a chair and then jumped... only for the support beam for the ceiling shattering making the boy slip from his noose and fall to the floor with a loud crash. "Damn it! How hard is it to die?!" he screamed in anger at his repeated failures to kill himself.

"Fine then!" The blonde growled as he grabbed a kitchen knife and prepared to slash his wrists open... only to hear some clattering noises outside followed by the sounds of yowling cats. Normally he would have ignored it... but now it sounded like one of the felines was in pain. With a frustrated sigh, he slammed the knife down and exited his apartment to see what all the commotion was about.

There he found a number of kittens, and one of them seemed to be tangled up in some kind of netting. It was likely they were dumpster diving and one of them ended up getting stuck. There were two black kittens, a kitten with blood red fur, one with light blue fur, a golden furred one, and a strawberry blonde one too. The strawberry blonde colored kitten seemed to be the one that was currently stuck as it mewled for help, while the others were trying to bite through the netting in spite of it hurting the insides of their mouths.

Feeling sorry for the trapped kitten, he slowly began to untangle the feline while the others silently looked on, watching him very closely but making no move to interfere. After a few moments, the trapped kitten was almost free and then... something landed on top of the blonde boy's head with a dull thunk, the object landing at his feet and appeared to be some kind of Ninjutsu scroll. "The hell? Who'd throw away a Ninjutsu scroll?" The blonde muttered after finally getting the trapped kitten lose.

He then picked up the scroll and opened it to read its contents. His eyes slowly widened until they were now the size of dinner plates as he discovered that the scroll contained details on a very wide variety of Clone type Jutsu. Water, Mud, Shadow, Explosive, and Blood clones to be exact. With all these different clones... there was no way he could fail the Academy. Though it seemed the Blood clone would be the most useful of them since it creates a perfect body double that would only be dispelled if the caster makes the clone vanish, or if the clone 'dies'.

The wheels began to turn in the boy's head as he grinned. Viewing this as his chance to not only do some truly serious training, but he would also be able to deal with the Academy simultaneously without actually needing to attend. "Seems like this might actually be my lucky night. Not only did I not die, but now I have this." the whiskered teen muttered excitedly, then felt the felines start to rub against his legs, purring and meowing happily.

Chuckling he knelt down and started to pet the kittens and spoke to them in a soft voice "Guess I have you guys to thank. You distracted me from probably making a terrible decision." He chuckled at the end since his hopes had been rekindled by this turn of good fortune.

"I hear that in some parts of the world, cats are worshipped and are meant to bring good luck. Maybe you guys were sent to me by Lady Luck or someone?" the blonde asked, only to earn some adorable meowing from the kittens. With a small smile, he scooped them up in his arms and brought them inside his apartment, now feeling assured that suicide was the wrong choice.

If he had killed himself, it would be like allowing the people who torment him to win. But if he pushed on and kept going, then he could someday become Hokage, which in a way, would be a form of revenge against the people who have mocked and looked down on him for so long. And with this newfound luck, he was sure to get a much needed boost in life.

 **Two years later.**

"Graduation day! Finally. Two years of training in the Forest of Death are complete." Naruto spoke to himself with a broad smile. For the past two years, he had vigorously trained inside the infamous Forest, learning to scavenge and live off the land for months at a time, mastering his various clone Jutsu and even creating some of his own jutsu. After his friend Anko had returned, he told her the story of how he found the scroll, including his attempted suicides.

After a mixture of tears, laughing, and beating the snot out of him for trying to kill himself, Anko helped train him in some of her own fire based Jutsu. The blonde even took to wearing one of her prized trench-coats but this one was colored black with the familiar crimson swirl mark on the back, often seen on Jonin and Chunin vests. Currently, the Snake user was on assignment to investigate one of her old Sensei's labs so it would be awhile before they saw each other again.

But still, he didn't feel so lonely anymore thanks to his cats now. The blonde sometimes thought about trying to meditate and communicate with the Kyuubi, but would often second-guess himself since he couldn't figure out when a 'good' time would come to meet with the beast. Not to mention he didn't know how the Nine Tails would behave.

Deciding to shelve those thoughts for now, the whiskered teen continued on with a smirk, but then he stopped when he saw a woman sitting on the side of the road, cradling a duffel bag that obviously had something inside. "Hey there Ma'am. You seem to be a bit out of place." the blonde spoke with a small and charming smile, the woman flinched slightly and pushed away some of her purple hair.

"What makes you say that?" She asked out of curiosity, raising a delicate eyebrow. Clutching the bag even tighter to her chest in a somewhat defensive manner. The blonde then smirked as he held up a Ninja headband with a star symbol engraved onto it, making her grab at her own pockets as she wondered how he lifted that off of her without her noticing.

"From the Village hidden in the Stars, eh? You're an awful long way from home. You're either a spy. Or a Rogue Nin." The blonde noted with a grin, prompting the stranger to snatch the headband out from his hand and quickly tuck it away into her duffel bag.

"I'm no spy! And how did you know? How did you even steal my headband without me noticing?" she asked him, her face turning red from a mixture of anger and embarrassment, earning some laughter from the blonde boy.

"I know the face of every Citizen of Konoha, both Shinobi and Civilian. I have an Eidetic memory, and there aren't many people around with purple hair. And I am extremely talented after training almost non-stop for the past two years in a forest where animals the size of buildings try to eat you daily. Allow me to introduce myself. Naruto Uzumaki, Soon-to-be Genin, future Hokage, professional gambler, and part-time professional asshole, at your service." the blonde spoke and gave a small bow.

The purple haired woman hesitated for a moment and replied "Natsuhi. Former Kunoichi of Star." she spoke with a small sigh since there was no point in concealing her identity since she had already been made.

"If you're not a spy. What brings you to Konoha? Does it have to do with what's in that bag you're carrying?" the whiskered teen asked with a cheeky grin, earning a reluctant nod from the purple haired woman.

"Yes. But for your safety, I cannot tell you any more than that. Please don't turn me over to the authorities. I'm not doing anything bad! I promise!" She spoke, trying to plead with the boy.

"Dunno. On the one hand, I have a weakness for the fairer sex and I would hate to bring undue harm to a woman. On the other hand, if what you have with you affects Konoha negatively and I didn't report you, I could get in trouble. I suppose I have no choice but to allow Lady Luck to guide me." The blonde spoke as he pulled out a single gold coin from his pocket.

"Heads, I leave you alone for now, and buy you dinner after the Academy exams. Tails, I'll report you to the Hokage and let him figure out what to do with you." the blonde spoke, but before Natsuhi could protest, he'd already flipped the coin and it had landed in his open palm revealing... Heads.

"Have a nice day Natsuhi-san. Lady Luck smiles on you. I'll be sure to find you for dinner." the whiskered teen said and then walked off towards the Academy with a small spring in his step.

"Wait! How will you even find me?" She asked him, finding it odd that he just decided things with a simple flip of a coin.

"Don't worry about it! I have my ways. Don't skip town or anything!" the blonde called out without turning around as he continued on to the Academy. All the while whistling a merry tune. As the boy continued to walk down the street he saw a suspicious looking man peeping into the women's bath house as he giggled perversely, all the while scribbling down in a notebook.

"PEEPING TOM RAPIST!" the blonde shouted, alerting the women inside that they were being watched, and not even a moment later, began chasing the White haired man across the village. "Damn that felt good to bust a sicko. While it is good to be appreciative of the opposite sex, one must also respect their privacy when they are bathing or doing other such activities. Now then, Lady Luck, what fortune shall you bring me today?" the blonde boy muttered as he rolled the gold coin across his knuckles.

Ever since that night, the blonde had been receiving almost unnatural luck, ranging from finding money in the streets, to winning free stuff from walking into stores, free meals from eating establishments and more. And then, without rhyme or reason, he happened upon a golden coin that he took as his good luck charm, and often referring to it and Lady Luck to aid in difficult choices like with that Natsuhi woman. And so far, putting his faith in Lady Luck has treated him very well.

His musing was broken when he finally arrived at his old classroom. And was happy to say that he wouldn't be missing it upon graduation. Sure he had left a Blood clone in his place, but he was sure to occasionally drop in and interact with his classmates. And he was certain that Iruka Umino had it out for him due to his status as the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki. The blonde opened the door and all eyes turned to him, several mouths dropping as they looked at his seat... where his Blood clone dressed in a horrible orange jumpsuit was sitting.

"Wha? Naruto? How... what's the meaning of this?" Iruka asked in confusion as he looked between the two Narutos. The orange clad one got up from his seat and gave a salute before snapping his own neck and then melting into a puddle of crimson goo making numerous fangirls shriek in disgust.

"That's the meaning. Guess its high time to explain myself. The 'Naruto' who was a mentally challenged individual with a need for attention, and can only scream 'Ramen', 'Hokage' and 'Believe it', was just a Blood clone I had stand in for me while I trained under the tutelage of some friends of mine. Now I'm here for real to take my final exam." The blonde briefly explained, earning a look of anger from the Chunin teacher.

"Wha, but... that's cheating! You can't just use a Stand-in like that and then show up for the exams when its convenient for you!" the Scarred Chunin tried to argue while the blonde calmly took his seat and then propped his feet up on the desk, pulling a deck of cards from his pocket and began to shuffle them in his hands.

"Says who? There's no law preventing the usage of a Blood-clone in class, and seeing as how it was indeed 'me', then its fine. And the term 'cheating' is a relative and not to mention useless term for Shinobi, since absolutely anything goes in a career that can get you killed if you aren't prepared. Queen of Hearts says... I shall pass with flying colors." The blonde spoke and then pulled out a Queen of Hearts before putting it back in the deck.

"You wanna argue about it Iruka? Go right ahead and get the Sandaime involved if you want. See what happens." the blonde stated with a chuckle, making the teacher grumble since he knew that the aged Hokage would take the boy's side anyway. Instead he began to hand out the needed exam papers to the students so that they may begin the written portion.

Instead of getting to work on his exam paper, the blonde seemed more interested in folding his exam paper up into some kind of origami figure making some of his classmates wonder if Naruto was crazy. And if the one they were all familiar with was just a clone... what was different about the 'Real' Naruto.

"Hey! Uzumaki! You got cats with you or something?" Kiba called out followed by a small bark from his canine companion since the two had caught the scents of multiple felines on the blonde's person. And as if on cue, six cats came crawling out from the inside of the Whiskered teen's coat and sat on his desk. Some of them grooming themselves while the strawberry blonde one flopped on the desk to take a cat nap. The one with light blue fur however seemed to be giving the teachers some kind of Death glare, almost daring the two to try something.

After a few minutes, the blonde boy had created a paper replica of Iruka himself... and then crushed its head between his fingers. The message not going unnoticed by the Scarred Chunin who could only gulp nervously in response. After a few more minutes the written exam was over so it was now time to move onto the Taijutsu portion.

Naruto was the first to get up and head outside, with his numerous cats following close behind him and hissing at anyone that dared get too close to him. The varying students began to gather around the sparring area, though gave the Whiskered teen a wide berth since it seemed like his cats would not allow anyone to get within six feet of him without letting out some threatening hisses or growls.

"Umm... Naruto? What's with all the cats?" Ino Yamanaka asked with a smile sweat-drop since the blue colored one wearing a military cap kept giving her nasty looks.

"Oh them? They're my Familiars. Be careful, they're pretty powerful in a fight." The whiskered teen simply stated as he crouched down and began affectionately petting the cats who all greedily soaked up the attention and gave their approval with a chorus of loud purring.

Ignoring this adorable scene, Iruka called out to the class "Okay then everyone, for the Taijutsu test, you either need to last five minutes in the ring with either myself or Mizuki, or force us out of the arena. While you won't necessarily fail if you can't meet these conditions, it'll certainly affect your final grade which determines what team you'll be put on." The Scarred Chunin explained earning some nods of understanding from the students.

One by one the students took their turns facing off against the teachers, Naruto honestly found it a little funny when the teachers would simply chuck the fangirls out almost immediately. Though to be honest, he didn't find any of the fights particularly interesting since he already knew and studied the various clans taught their children. The Interceptor Fist and Gentle Fist to the Uchiha's and Hyuuga's, in that order, for example. Both Taijutsu styles relied heavily on the clan's respective Bloodline ability to maximize effectiveness.

When Naruto saw that it was Sakura's turn against Mizuki, he decided to pull one of his many tricks on the silver haired man. "Hey, Sakura. You seem rather quiet today." The whiskered teen spoke as he approached the pinkette, one of his cats, a black one wearing an adorable witches hat now perched on his shoulder with a cheeky smile on its face.

"Yeah..." Sakura responded in a distracted tone, trying to cross her arms to hide some bruising on them which didn't go unnoticed by the blonde. He scratched his cheek for a moment and then whispered something into her ear, which caused her to perk up in curiosity... and then like the strike of a match, her eyes now had red hot flames in them. "MIZUKI! YOU SICK BASTARD PEDO TEACHER!" she screamed and then launched herself in the air, sending a kick that cut through the air like a scythe. Her foot slamming hard into the Silver haired man's face which sent him flying out of the ring.

"Divine Feminine fury. A strange phenomena where a female gains a sudden and inexplicable surge of power that can defeat those stronger than themselves. Be careful you don't become a victim of it." The whiskered teen spoke to no one in particular as he inwardly laughed at the unconscious form of Mizuki sprawled out on the ground.

"Erm... Sakura Haruno passes. And since Mizuki is now... unavailable, I shall test the remaining students myself." the Scarred Chunin sighed as he placed his clipboard on the ground, fortunately there were now only two students remaining. Sasuke Uchiha, the golden boy and Rookie of the year... and Naruto Uzumaki, the Dead-last and cheater.

The Uchiha was the first to be called up, and the match began on Iruka's signal. The self-proclaimed Avenger immediately began throwing a barrage of punches which seemed to be forcing the Chunin back step by step towards a ring-out. A small chuckling noise came from the blue cat as she spoke "That Iruka guy isn't putting up any real fight. Hell, he isn't even using a proper defense."

"No kidding. Sasuke's always been the class favorite. Bet that wouldn't be the case if there were more Uchiha's around. Shame Mikoto-san didn't make it, she was nice to me back in the day. Anyways General, I'm counting on you and the others to make sure that Iruka doesn't try and cheat me." The blonde replied with a toothy grin, prompting the blue cat referred to as 'General' to adjust her cap and give a small salute in confirmation.

Focusing their attention back on the 'fight' it seemed that Iruka stepped out of bounds, thus it was now Sasuke's victory. Leaving Naruto the last student left to fight against the teacher. The whiskered teen stepped inside the ring and noted that Iruka's stance was different than with Sasuke. This time it seemed he had taken a much more serious and prepared stance to fight the blonde with. However, Naruto already anticipated that the Chunin wouldn't fight fair anyway. And muttered to himself "Maximum effort."

With a flick of his wrist, the blonde's lucky golden coin appeared between his fingers. "Heads, I win. Tails, you lose." the blonde spoke and then flipped the coin in the air, causing Iruka's eyes to instinctively follow the movements of the coin. However the light of the sun reflected off the coin, blinding the Chunin as he brought his hands up to shield his face. This gave Naruto the opening he needed to dash forward and send his knee directly into Iruka's crotch. The scarred Chunin's eye's bugged out, almost as if they were about to pop out of their sockets.

Naruto then slammed his shoulder into Iruka, knocking the stunned Chunin out of the ring. The blonde then held out his open palm allowing the coin to fall flat into his hand, prompting him to look at which side the coin landed on and spoke triumphantly "Tails. You lose."

The Chunin's face burned crimson from both outrage and from the pain in his loins as he cupped his crotch, trying to ease the pain. "Foul! I call foul! You cheated! You used the sunlight reflected off the coin to distract me!" The Chunin shouted angrily, pointing an accusatory finger at the blonde.

"I don't know what you're talking about. All I did was flip a coin. You being blinded was just a lucky accident. And stop whining, nobody likes a sore loser." Naruto replied with a snarky tone, earning some laughter from the class since it was kinda funny to see Iruka in such a state. While it wasn't exactly sporting to strike a blow before the belt, 'fair play' was irrelevant to Shinobi anyway.

After a few minutes, Iruka managed to get his second wind and Mizuki had regained consciousness, allowing for the class to move onto the Ninjutsu portion of the exam. The students retreating back inside the Academy and lining up in the hallway to await their turns for the final and most important piece of the exam, the Ninjutsu portion which was the true make-or-break part.

Naruto stood patiently in line, casually flipping his coin while his cats remained nestled inside the pockets of his trench coat, making everyone wonder how the blonde was able to walk around with the cats hiding inside his coat, or how the coat was able to support the collective weight of all the cats. "So Naruto... that Blood clone and its goofy over-the-top retarded nature was all an act?" Ino asked out of curiosity, finding that the 'real' Naruto's personality to be far more laid-back and cool.

"Correct. You ever hear of a long con? I purposefully made the Blood clone act like a hapless loser for two whole years to establish the ruse that I was a weakling, while I trained under the four Ice Queens of Konoha and within the Forest of Death. Now that my training has finished, I look forward to moving up, meeting new people and learning new things about being a Ninja." the cat lover replied with a chuckle and gave his fellow blonde a small wink, earning a tiny blush from her.

"Wow. You played everyone good. I kinda like the 'real' you. I hope we work together in the future sometime." she spoke while clasping her hands behind her back, a bright smile on her face.

"Paws off sister! He's ours! And no skinny little fangirl is taking Naruto-sama from us!" yelled a voice from inside the jacket making Ino's eyes widen a bit, realizing that one of the cats had just talked.

"Remember. Familiars. They can talk. And don't mind them. They're just being possessive." The whiskered teen spoke with a shake of his head, already dismissing the attitude of his felines making Ino nod a bit, though still found it surprising that the cats had learned to talk like a human. Still... stranger things existed within the Elemental Nations she supposed.

After that brief conversation, Mizuki poked his head out and called for Naruto to come into the classroom to take his Ninjutsu test, prompting the blonde to shrug his shoulders and mutter "Maximum effort." before entering the classroom with his hands in his outer coat pockets. Inside, the form of Iruka was sitting behind his desk, the sounds of ice crackling each time he moved, all the while glaring at the blonde's form.

"All right then Naruto. Do a Substitution technique." The Scarred Chunin bluntly demanded, not even wasting any time to get this show on the road. Once again, the blonde had a feeling that Iruka wouldn't play fair. Fortunately, he already knew of a means of turning the tables. With a snap of his fingers, the blonde vanished in a puff of smoke... and in his place was the Sandaime Hokage, sitting in his chair while reading from a familiar orange book.

The aged Hokage then looked up and saw that he was no longer in the normal surroundings of his office "Wha? Where am I? How the hell did I get here?" Hiruzen blubbered in a fit of confusion, only for Naruto to reappear and tap the aged man on the shoulder making him jump slightly in his seat.

"Chill old man, I decided to use a Substitution jutsu to replace you, with myself so that you could bear witness to my victory in the exam." the whiskered teen proudly stated with a grin, the explaination putting the Hokage at ease as he took a deep breath and relaxed himself.

"Naruto-kun, you amaze me. Replacing yourself with another person over such a distance is quite an accomplishment with the Substitution jutsu. And since I'm here, I might as well bear witness to what comes next." The Sandaime replied with obvious pride in his voice, making the whiskered teen give a Victory sign with his fingers.

"Okaaaaaay, umm, perform a Transformation this time." Iruka requested in a more polite tone since the Hokage was now present. The whiskered teen crossed his arms for a moment, wondering what he should transform into.

"Any requests? This is an exam right? Isn't it supposed to be kinda challenging?" Naruto asked since the Henge was a rather boring technique unless you used it to transform into a nude girl to prank some perverted asshole and make him pass out or potentially die from a nose bleed.

"Try transforming into my student Tsunade. I recall showing you her picture a while ago." The Sandaime offered, prompting the Jinchuuriki to nod and snap his fingers, changing into the form of the busty Sannin wearing her battle armor from the Shinobi wars. And then changed back into his normal form.

"Last one, perform the Clone Jutsu." Mizuki stated forming a fake smile on his face that gave the whiskered teen a feeling of illness. With a sigh, the blonde performed a singular hand-sign and spoke **"Shadow Clone Jutsu"** creating at least twenty perfect replicas of himself with their hands lazily clasped behind their heads with some bored expressions.

"You fail." Was Iruka's response, which seemed far too quick to fly out of his mouth, making the Sandaime raise an eyebrow.

"Now just a moment, Naruto-kun just performed a clone technique that even I, the Hokage, have difficulty using due to its high chakra usage. If anything, the boy shouldn't just be allowed to pass but also be labeled Rookie of the year for mastering a jutsu like that at his young age." Hiruzen stated as he put away his book and gave the Chunin teacher a hardened glare, not liking the man's obvious bias against the boy.

"The rules clearly state that in the Ninjutsu exam, a student must make a viable set of clones with, the basic Clone Jutsu. Since Naruto didn't use that jutsu, he cannot pass." The Scarred Chunin replied coldly, shuffling in his seat which caused the ice pack to make some more noises at his crotch.

Before the Sandaime could protest and flex his authority, Naruto pulled out a book on Konoha laws from seemingly nowhere and began to read from it "Chapter one: Academy rules. Page 99, paragraph 4. Students with advanced Chakra reserves are permitted to be taught and use advanced clone techniques in the Graduation exam if unable to perform Clone Jutsu due to their inability to use such small amounts of Chakra for this basic Jutsu. With both you and Mizuki being Academy teachers, you should have known that." the blonde stated at the end, snapping the book shut.

"Yes. They should have. Iruka Umino? Mizuki? You're both fired as Academy teachers. You'll be performing gate guard duty for the next six months... without pay! And Naruto-kun? You have utterly impressed me the past two years with your progress in training under the Ice Queens and the innovative usage of a Blood clone replacement, and I am proud to name you an official Genin of Konoha and Rookie of the Year." The Sandaime announced and took the black headband reserved for the Academy's top Rookie.

"What?! You can't just do that! He cheated his way into all this! And you knew he was cheating?" Iruka protested angrily, only to shrink in his seat as the Sandaime glared at him.

"And I am the Hokage! When it comes to Shinobi matters, I get the final say. And of course I knew! Who do you think set Naruto-kun up to train under all Four Ice Queens for the past two years? And I allowed Naruto-kun some leeway to ensure he would grow and learn to be a Shinobi through hands-on lessons instead of letting his talents go to waste in a classroom. And I am very pleased to see I made the right choice. And I warn you now, one more misstep, and I will strip you both of your headbands and have you thrown into prison!" The Hokage warned them, making the two Chunin gulp nervously.

"Appreciate it old man. I look forward to Team Assignments. Could be fun." The blonde stated as he vanished in a swirl of leaves, making the Hokage shake his head in amusement. In the background, Mizuki was fuming a bit, however a light bulb then blinked over his head as he got an idea. He then grinned as he knew of someone else he could sucker into assisting him.

 **Later.**

The sun was going down as Natsuhi hid in an alleyway, a cold wing blowing past her making her shiver. She then heard the sounds of footsteps approaching her and found it to be the same blonde boy from earlier, now with a Konoha headband tied to his left arm and he was carrying a bag filled with some groceries. "Told you I'd find you. Don't tell me you planned on sleeping in an alley." the blonde boy spoke with a chuckle.

"I'm a Rogue Kunoichi on the run. I can't exactly check myself into a hotel right now." she muttered bitterly, and then her stomach began to grumble making her blush a bit in embarrassment.

"Uh oh. Someone is hungry. Come on. My place isn't too far away. You can stay with me for a bit till you work out a plan." The blonde offered with a warm smile and then gestured for her to follow him. She looked at him with suspicion in her eyes, wondering what his game was.

"You're just going to let a stranger into your home? Why? You don't even know me." Natsuhi stated bluntly as she slowly got up from her spot with narrowed eyes.

"Sure I am. I have a pretty good bullshit detector, which is why I'm good at poker. And I don't think you're a bad person. Now come on already! Unless you want to sleep out here with the rats and rapists? Konoha's home to lots of perverse bastards." The blonde asked with a grin, though it didn't take much more convincing to make the rogue Kunoichi nod her head and follow the boy to his apartment.

It didn't take very long for them to arrive, after fishing out his key and unlocking the door, the blonde ushered his new guest inside. Before she could enter, all of the blonde's feline companions started jumping out from inside his trench coat and scattered about the apartment, the scene making the purple haired woman's eyes widen a bit as she asked "Were those cats in your coat the whole time? How'd you hide them all?"

"I have pocket dimensions in my coat." The blonde answered which earned a 'ba-dum tsh' sound coming from the next room, which made Natsuhi blink her eyes a few times and wonder if she was just punked. Naruto shook his head in amusement and spoke to his new guest "Feel free to take a shower or borrow some of Anko's sleep wear. She won't be back for some time anyway. I'll get to cooking. Hopie you like spaghetti, and I know how to make some tasty meatballs that'll melt in your mouth."

With a small nod, Natsuhi placed her duffel bag on the floor since she didn't sense any ill intentions from the boy quickly found the bed room area to retrieve some clothes to wear when she left the shower. "This Anko you mentioned, she your sister?" Natsuhi called out as the blonde put a pot of water on the boil and began to arrange the ingredients.

"In a way. I was an Orphan and Anko always helped take care of me. She let me move into her apartment since my old one was falling apart at the seams. We've been best friends for as long as I can remember." he briefly answered as he continued his work in the kitchen, and then his ears perked up on hearing the shower running.

"Mmm. This woman has a nice figure. I believe she might be what's called a MILF." spoke the sultry voice of a black cat with golden eyes as she rubbed her form against the Blonde's leg.

"No kidding. But please, don't distract me. Cooking is a delicate art that mustn't be disrupted. Why don't you all go prowl the village and see if there's anything suspicious to be found." The blonde asked with a small wink, prompting his cats to all salute and began to file out of the apartment through a kitty door installed in the apartment's door.

Some minutes later, Naruto began to set dinner on the table and his guest Natsuhi appeared wearing some shorts and a T-shirt that said 'The devil made me do it'. "Your friend Anko has... interesting taste." The Star Kunoichi spoke, gesturing to the shirt.

"Anko can be rather impulsive, loud, and often crazy, but she's loyal and loving. Couldn't ask for a better friend, maybe more someday, but I digress. Please, sit and eat. You look starved." the whiskered teen spoke as he pulled out her chair for her making the purple haired woman chuckle a bit as she took her place at the table.

"Such a gentleman. You seem to be exceptionally talented at everything you do, you can cook, and you managed to pickpocket my headband earlier without me noticing." She noted and then clapped her hands muttering 'Itadakimassu' before digging into her meal. Her eyes widened for a moment and then her body quivered in delight as she moan at the flavors filling her mouth.

"Well, in my younger years I had to live alone and learn to take care of myself, plus Anko taught me a few tricks to cooking as she trained me in the wilds of the Forest of Death. And I learned how to make Origami to help develop nimble fingers, which helped translate into pickpocketing and lockpicking. Some may refer to me as a Gary Stu considering how 'perfect' I supposedly am. But I do have one fatal weakness: Women." he admitted with a sheepish expression.

"That can indeed be fatal if you were to meet an especially dangerous female." She remarked with a chuckle and greedily devoured the plate of spaghetti.

"I'm curious. Whatever is in that duffel bag must be valuable, dangerous, or both. Why'd you take it?" He asked with a thoughtful expression and rested his head on a loosely closed fist.

"It was to protect my son. That's all." She replied with an exhausted sigh, on closer inspection, it seemed like some dark circles were developing beneath her eyes, showing that she hadn't been sleeping well in recent days.

"I see. I won't pry any further than that then. For some reason, I can't help but respect a mother that'd sacrifice so much for her son." He responded and gave a nod of respect to her. Natsuhi finished her meal and then yawned, stretching out her arms which resulted in several popping sounds.

"Damn. You seem pretty stiff. I can help with that." Naruto offered with a warm smile, making the purple haired woman raise an eyebrow in curiosity.

"You also have a talent for massages too?" She asked while crossing one leg over the other, wondering if he was implying something.

"Sadly, I haven't yet mastered the fine art of massaging a woman's body. But there is this thing I do that makes women go weak in the knees." The blonde replied as his tongue briefly snaked out from between his lips, earning a small blush from his guest.

 **(Lemon start!)**

"Well... you only live once right?" she asked herself and gave a small shrug, feeling a certain itch in her loins that needed scratching. And she did owe him for feeding her and letting her stay, so it was a win-win for the both of them. With a nod of affirmation, the blonde teen approached her cupping her face in his hands and then placing a small kiss on her lips.

When they broke it, she had a sly smile on her face, wrapping her arms around his neck as their kisses became a heated makeout session. Getting up from her seat, the two made their way towards the bedroom without their lips breaking apart until Natsuhi shoved the blonde to the bed. Her face flushed crimson as her carnal desires came boiling to the surface.

Natsuhi pulled off her shirt, exposing her large breasts which still maintained a fine and supple shape, and then pushed her shorts down allowing her round and soft ass to break free of its confinement and breath the open air. Naruto wasted no time either as he almost ripped off his own trench coat and shirt. The purplette grabbed his pants and quickly yanked them off, her green eyes widening a bit when she saw his nine inch package making her sensually lick her lips. The sight of it making her wet with anticipation.

She quickly straddled him, rubbing their genitals together, grinding her moistening pussy against his dick which quickly hardened from the stimulation. Taking a deep breath, she raised her hips up and guided his shaft into her mature pussy, and then quickly dropped herself down taking his member all the way to the root making her gasp sharply from the feeling of fullness in her vagina.

After relaxing herself she started to bounce her ass up and down, making it slap hard against Naruto's thighs and balls. The blonde reached up and grabbed her large breasts in his hands, fondling them as she rode his penis like a rodeo champion. Months or even Years of sexual frustration crashed against Natsuhi's body like a tidal wave as she found herself bouncing up and down on a male young enough to be her son, but she didn't care as she lowered herself down, causing her breasts to squish against his chest while he wrapped his arms around her lower back.

The sounds of flesh smacking against flesh could be heard as the two lovers lips were locked together once more with deep and throaty moans escaping from their lips. Unfortunately, Natsuhi's pussy was sensitive due to being deprived of sex for so long, and she was close to reaching her climax now. With a loud scream, she slammed her hips down hard as she climaxed, squirting some hot juices against her new lover's belly. Her vagina tightening around his dick which prompted him to climax as well, his member shooting hot and thick seed deep into her womb making her feel a warmth she hadn't felt in years.

Rolling off of the blonde teenager she sighed in both contentment and exhaustion since she couldn't ever remember having such an orgasm in her life. Not even with her late husband. Naruto held out a cigarette to her, making her shrug as she accepted it, placing it between her lips and allowing him to light it for her with a match. She took a drag from it, allowing smoke to fill her lungs before exhaling deeply, blowing out smoke from her mouth. "Damn I needed this. I don't usually sleep around, much less with males young enough to be my son." she muttered as she took another drag.

"Sorry for busting a nut inside you. That gonna be a problem I need to prepare for?" He asked with a raised eyebrow, hoping he hadn't accidentally sired a child just yet.

"Nah. Don't worry about it. I'm not going to be popping out kids anytime soon." She reassured him with a small smile and gently patted his head. "Still, I gotta know. This a one-time thing, or is it going to be something else?" She asked out of curiosity since she didn't really know what to expect from the newly minted Genin.

"For now, how about friends with benefits? I help you, you help me. And when we want, we rut like animals in heat. Sound fair?" He asked with a small smile, earning a nod of agreement from the Mature Kunoichi.

"I have no objections. Hope you're ready for round two. Because I have a lot of pent up frustration that needs to be worked out of my system." She responded and snuffed out the cigarette with a saucy grin, straddling the blonde once more and took his shaft in her hand to stroke him back to full mast.

"As my mistress commands." He replied with a low moan. Very eager for a long night of sex with his new lover Natsuhi.

 **Meanwhile.**

"Hn. So this scroll has lots of powerful Jutsu , eh? There must be plenty of techniques that could help me become strong enough to kill HIM." Muttered the form of Sasuke Uchiha as he prepared to read the contents of the Forbidden scroll... only to hear what sounded like footsteps. Looking up, the Uchiha saw the form of Mizuki approaching him, and the Avenger gave a small smirk.

"You were right. This thing was exactly where you said it'd be. Seems a waste to have so many Jutsu in one scroll and not use any of them. They'll be very useful in my hands." Sasuke spoke in approval, but then gained a confused expression when he noticed that the Chunin's eyes were rolled into his head and he seemed to be covered in claw marks. The silver haired man then limply fell to the ground as a number of cats appeared around him. It was the same ones that the Dobe had with him earlier today.

"Ah-ha! Suspicious indeed! Whatcha doing with that scroll bouya? Don't you know that thing has high-level Jutsu? If a Greenhorn like you were to use them, you'd die of Chakra exhaustion." Spoke a black cat with golden eyes, with a toothy grin on her face.

"Blaire-sama thinks we should let him croak! This village doesn't need a spoilt brat like him for a Ninja." spoke a black cat wearing a witches hat.

"Truuuuuue, but if he were to die... then we would no longer be able to torture and torment him. After all, to live is to suffer, right?" Spoke the blue cat as she held up one of her paws and showed off her claws which glistened in the moonlight.

"Hn. I don't think you know who you're dealing with. For I am Sasuke Uchiha, an Elite..." The Self-proclaimed Avenger spoke, but was cut off when the crimson cat pounced on his face and began scratchin away, making the duck haired boy scream and yell out in pain. The other cats then quickly joined in and began to use the Uchiha as a living scratching post.

"OW! OW! WHY DO CAT CLAWS HURT SO MUCH?!" the Uchiha screamed out in pain, which earned the sinister laughter of a gang of felines that quite enthusiastically dug their claws into his flesh. Later on in history, this event would later be known as 'The Great Cat Caper' which foiled the theft of the Forbidden Scroll.

 **End Chapter.**

 **A/N: Hello fans! I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. I wanted to make the Lemon a bit longer, but honestly, I'm not much good with them. Besides, I'll try not to make lemons a big thing. Anyways, I'll try to work on either the next chapter for this, or for Toxic Love. Also... I put up a number of my stories for adoption, so please take a look and PM me for details.**

 **Suggestions for Harem and such things are always welcome. Feedback and constructive criticism too.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Not much to say here, except please leave lots of reviews. Feedback is also very much welcome. Now, onto the credits.**

 **Starring: Anime's perfect idiot, A bunch of hot chicks, some gratuitous crossover guests, and annoying ass villains.**

 **Owned by: The True Villain of the Narutoverse and hater of Fanfiction.**

 **Inspired by (Ripped off.): 'The Gambler' by ZenoNoKyuubi. (Props to him.)**

 **Fanfic Written by: Fanfiction's most loveable and unreliable author.**

 **Supported by: The real heroes here, all you amazing fans and readers. (Big shoutout to VFSNAKE, XXX777, Skull Flame, SonSanbi23, Fighting Joe, and Spider-Man999 who are some of my biggest supporters.)**

 **Chapter two: Team Seven Assembles.**

Within the shared apartment of Naruto and Anko, the sounds of low and deep moaning can be heard from the current guest, Natsuhi. "Mmm. Right there. Ohhhhh fuck, this is what I needed." She groaned out in pleasure as she smiled in satisfaction, her body slowly melting into the couch with a light blush of pink dusting her cheeks.

Sitting in front of her was her newest friend, host, and lover, Naruto with his fingers rubbing her feet. "I thought you said you didn't know how to give massages." She mumbled a bit as she took a sip of sake, enjoying the feeling of being pampered by a young boy.

"Not true. I said I hadn't mastered the art of massaging a woman's body." He responded, his fingers rubbing the knots out of her left foot making her groan a bit more.

"Could have fooled me. Kami, I haven't felt this relaxed in... forever really." She replied and took another sip of her acoholic beverage, the booze causing her blush to darken a bit. "Keep this up and I'll have my way with you again." she muttered blissfully, but before the blonde could reply there was a knock on the door.

Shaking his head, the blonde quickly made a Shadow clone to take over massaging his new house-guest so that he may answer. When the whiskered teen opened the doorway, he was greeted by the sight of the Sandaime... with the blonde boy's cats all sitting in front of him, the felines all having sinister grins spread across their faces. "Hey old man. What brings you here?" The Jinchuuriki asked with a broad smile, knowing that his felines must have gotten into some kind of mischief.

"Firstly, to return your cats after an... incident last night. Secondly, I am here to inform you that Team Assignments is today, at twelve. Sharp." The Hokage responded with a small chuckle, and then sweat-dropped a bit as the cats began to rub their bodies against Naruto's leg, all the while meowing in an 'innocent' manner.

"So about an hour then. Thanks for the heads up, though it seems kinda funny that you'd come here personally just for that. There anything else I need to know about?" The blonde teen asked while tilting his head in curiosity, earning a nod from his grandfather figure.

"You don't miss a trick do you? Sharp as ever." The Hokage spoke with a grin. Naruto then pulled out a deck of playing cars from his pocket and a moan noise came from the living area within the apartment, prompting the Sandaime to quirk up an eyebrow and ask "Company Naruto-kun?"

"Yup. A stray that I scooped up and am currently looking out for. Now, King of Clubs says, that you'll tell me something that I won't like." Naruto responded as he quickly cut and then shuffled through his deck before drawing out the top card... which was a King of Clubs.

"Okay, how do you do that?" Hiruzen asked with slight awe, wondering how the boy can pull off card tricks like that. It seemed as if he would frequently refer to his cards to predict things with frightening accuracy.

"Lady Luck never lies to the faithful. So, what's the problem?" The whiskered teen asked as continued to casually shuffle the deck of playing cards in his hands, and each time he drew a card, it would be the King of Clubs, prompting the boy to stick it back in the middle of the deck and resume shuffling again.

"Last night, Mizuki was arrested for attempting to steal the Forbidden Scroll, apparently he used Sasuke Uchiha as a proxy to steal it and likely planned for the boy to take the fall, buying Mizuki himself time to escape. Your cats managed to intervene and prevent the theft and your old, and I use the term loosely, 'teacher' has given a full confession to the crime. Apparently he was planning to sell the scroll off to the highest bidder." Hiruzen explained with a tired sigh, rubbing his temples a bit.

"The Forbidded Scroll eh? Lot of High ranking Jutsu in there. Dangling that thing in front of Sasuke would be like offering a beehive to a Honey Badger. Those critters will risk getting stung to death to get at that honey. So, lemme take a guess, Sasuke was let off the hook." the whiskered teen spoke, giving an educated guess towards the Uchiha's fate.

"Indeed. But Sasuke is still very much in hot water, for his misdeed. Inoichi also warned me that the boy is quite unstable and very easily a flight risk, and given how easily the Uchiha complied with Mizuki's machinations, I'm inclined to agree. Which is why I warned Team Seven's new sensei to keep an eye out for any suspicious behavior from the Uchiha, and I would feel safer still, knowing you're also there to keep Sasuke in line. I'm even willing to put your assistance down as an A-rank mission, for which you'll be appropriately compensated." The Sandaime explained, making the blonde frown a bit. But still, a job was a job. And money was money.

And the pay of an A-rank could be rather considerable. "And if Sasuke were to go Rogue? Am I licensed to return him to Konoha dead or alive?" The blonde asked with a somewhat sinister smile, which made some of his felines seemingly snicker in delight.

"Alive would be preferable, but dead is certainly an option as well if the boy doesn't come quietly." The aged Hokage answered bluntly, hoping that the latter wouldn't be required, but if it meant keeping the Sharingan out of the wrong hands, like Orochimaru, the extinction of the Uchiha clan may be a necessary evil.

"Good to know. So who's to be our Jonin-sensei? I heard Kizashi Haruno has been pushing pretty hard for Kakashi Hatake to be Sasuke's sensei." Naruto spoke with a small sneer, as he pocketed his deck of cards and then picked up the golden cat in his arms and began rubbing her belly, much to the jealousy of the other cats.

"You heard right. But Kizashi being of the Civilian council, doesn't get the final say. I do. And I have certain concerns with Kakashi being in charge of the Uchiha, since Hatake has a certain connection to Sasuke's clan that could cloud his judgment. That aside, Kakashi is currently in the hospital and unfit for duty, regardless." Hiruzen explained as his lips twitched upwards into a small smirk for a moment.

"The hospital? Why is that?" the whiskered teen asked out of simple curiosity.

"It would seem that Kakashi was diagnosed with prostate cancer and needs to stay at the hospital for treatment. I have arranged for a new Jonin-sensei, and I think you'll like who I selected." The Hokage answered and then departed before the blonde could press him for the identity of his new sensei.

The whiskered teen chuckled a bit and grabbed his trench-coat, prompting his feline companions to start climbing into their hiding places inside the coat. The blonde then called out to his house-guest "Oi, Natsuhi-san. I'm heading out for a while. Help yourself to whatever's in the kitchen!" in response the Rogue Kunoichi let out a dismissive 'Hai' as the blonde locked his apartment door to keep possible intruders from bursting in on his guest.

He then departed and left towards a nearby weapons shop that he frequented, due to it being one of the few places where he wasn't cheated out of his money, wasn't owned by Kizashi Haruno, and an old friend worked there as well. After a few minutes of walking, he entered the Ninja tool shop with the bell ringing as the door opened and closed behind him.

At the counter, the form of Tenten looked up and gave him a friendly wave. A large grin on her face as he approached, her eyes glancing towards the headband tied around his arm. "Well, look who finally passed the Academy exam. Word's going around that Iruka's now on Gate Guard duty, without pay, much to the Eternal Chunin, Izumo and Kotetsu's, amusement. Now where are those adorable cats of yours? Hiding in your coat again?" The weapons expert asked, prompting two felines to pop their heads out and meow in greeting.

Both the General and the crimson cat known as Erza hopped onto the counter, allowing Tenten to scratch their heads with a smile. "Esdeath. Erza. You been taking good care of Naruto-kun?" the brown haired girl asked earning some nods of agreement from the cats, while the others poked their heads out and raised their paws in a salute.

"It's true on Iruka's part. I suspected that he wouldn't play fair, so I decided to turn the tables on him by impromptly inviting the Hokage to my exam. Seems that Umino-san's bias towards me got him in trouble. Now then, I have team assignments soon, and I am curious to see if you have my order ready." The blonde stated, smirking as he petted the head of the strawberry blonde cat Rangiku, who gave a lazy yawn.

The weapons expert nodded and produced a large crate from beneath the counter "Got them right here. A bulk order of custom projectile weapons. Your usual playing cards with chakra infusion capablities. And I also have the rest of your order right here." She spoke and then produced another crate marked as 'explosive. Handle with care'.

She pulled out a drawer from behind the counter and produced three different colored playing dice. "Took me a while to get the mixtures right. But I think it'll be worth the money you put into them. White dice are loaded with tear gas, the black dice are flash bangs, and the red dice are grenades. Gotta say, I like your style when it comes to weapons." Tenten admitted with a smile, clearly very proud of her handiwork.

"Not exactly traditional weaponry. But it fits my Gambler motif, and they are far less conspicuous than Kunai and Shuriken. The point to being a ninja is to not attract attention, yes? But I digress, how much do I owe you for this order Ten-chan?" The whiskered teen asked with a smile.

"What do the cards tell you?" She asked him with a wink, lacing her fingers together as she waited for the blonde's response. With a chuckle, he produced his usual deck from his pocket and spread the cards across the counter in front of his friend.

"The Queen of Hearts says, you will want me to take you to dinner." he replied, and then gestured for her to choose a card. With a smirk, she picked up the first card to catch her eye, and found it to be a Queen of Hearts as her former classmate predicted.

"No matter how many times I see that, it still amazes me. I'll put the rest on your tab." She admitted, wondering how the blonde did that every single time.

"Lady Luck never lies. And she can be a very mischevious individual. That makes her a perfect Patron for me. I'll be seeing you later Tenten. I look forward to when our teams can work together. And have a little faith, Kady Luck always provides for her followers." he responded before sealing away the two crates into a scroll, and then planted a quick kiss on her cheek before departing with both Erza and the General climbing back into his pockets.

 **Minutes later.**

Hana Inuzuka sighed as she droned on, calling out the names of the graduated students and their respective teams. Thanks to Iruka being fired, and Mizuki's arrest, it now fell to her to take charge of the Team Assignment session for the day, and hopefully by the time the next Academy season started again, a suitable replacement will have been found.

Before she could announce Team Seven, the form of Naruto Uzumaki entered inside with his ever present feline companions poking their heads out of their hiding places. It was still odd how the coat managed to have enough space to contain all the cats, which made Hana wonder if there was some kind of hammer space for the felines to hide away in.

"You're late." Hana noted with a sly smile, pointing towards the clock to illustrate her point.

"Fashionably." The blonde curtly replied as he took his seat next to Sakura, the pinkette seemingly not even taking note of his presence as she rubbed some dark bruises on her arms. Raising an eyebrow the blonde asked "Now where did you get those nasty little bruises?"

At his question, she tensed up and muttered half-heartedly "I... uhh... I fell." the whiskered teen made a small 'hmm' noise in thought, not at all believing her. But for the moment, he chose not to press her further on the subject.

At last Hana smirked a little as she announced the newest carnation of Team Seven. "Team Seven will be Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno and Sasuke Uchiha." In response to the announcement, the Uchiha scoffed in an uncaring manner, letting out his signature 'Hn' sound. Sakura didn't even seem to notice that she was placed on the same team as her crush and continued to nurse her sore bruises. Naruto could only shrug and seemed to be busying himself with building a house of cards.

After that, Hana announced the remaining teams. Afterwards, the numerous Genin seemed excited to begin their new careers as Genin... completely unaware of the face that it would involve D-rank missions. Which would quickly sober them up to a few realities to being a ninja. The more hardcore stuff would come later with time.

"By the way Naruto-kun... your team will be getting a very Special Sensei." Hana spoke to the blonde as he finished his house of cards in record time, much to the astonishment of his ex-classmates.

"Anyone I'm familiar with?" The whiskered teen asked before knocking down the neatly arranged house and began to reassemble them back into his deck.

"Very." Was Hana's response as she kissed his forehead and left with a small spring in her step, farther back in the class, Kiba Inuzuka frowned deeply, and when his elder sister left he got up from his seat and slammed his hands down on the desk in front of Naruto.

"Hey, Dobe! The hell was that? Why did my sister just kiss you?" The dog boy demanded angrily, his partner Akamaru poking his head out and also giving a light glare of annoyance, though if it was directed at Kiba or Naruto was anyone's guess.

The Jinchuuriki merely chuckled as he replied "The name 'Dobe' was a nickname bestowed on my Blood Clone, whom acted the fool on my orders, remember? It has no true relevance to me now. And Hana was one of the people who helped train me the past two years, she and Tsume-san both taught me Taijutsu and some first aid techniques. Now kindly back away before I ask my feline friends to deal with you." After giving his warning, his cats all emerged from their hiding places and began glaring angrily at Kiba, with Akamaru letting out a whimper of fear and retreating back into his partner's jacket.

At the sight of the Cats, Sasuke broke into a cold sweat and slid beneath his desk to hide from the felines. His fingers tenderly tracing some claw marks that were obscured with the usage of makeup. The Inuzuka however merely scoffed and retorted "I never understood your fascination with cats. They're just a bunch of lazy hairballs."

Naruto raised a finger up and waved it from side to side as he said "True in many cases. But these felines are very near and dear to my heart since they ended up saving my life. And did you know that in some parts of the world, cats are worshipped and respected? They're also said to bring good fortune. And if I were you... I wouldn't underestimate my friends."

"Oh really? What're they gonna do to me?" The dog boy asked with a snicker, not even viewing the felines as a potential threat while he crossed his arms. Then a sudden chill ran up and down his spine, and the golden cat took on a martial arts stance, making the Inuzuka tilt his head a bit... and then a puff of smoke obscured his vision as a foot kicked him square in his crotch.

"Assemble!" shouted a female voice as more puffs of smoke occurred in the classroom, in place of six felines, stood six gorgeous women all posessing cat ears and tails.

The first was a woman with pale skin, and shimmering light blue hair wearing a military cap on her head. She adjusted her cap with a devilish grin and spoke "General Esdeath."

The second woman had bright crimson hair and seemed to be wearing armor akin to that of a Knight. A sword held between her hands as she announced her own name "Erza Scarlett."

The third was a woman with purple hair, wearing the clothes and hat of a witch as she sat atop a Jack o' lantern "Blair-sama!" she shouted out her name with a wink.

The fourth woman had bright blonde hair and golden eyes as she slammed her fists together and shouted "Leone!"

The fifth woman had long strawberry blonde hair, and a bust that seemed to equal that of a certain Sannin, running her hands through her hair, she introduced herself as well "Rangiku Matsumoto."

The sixth and final woman had purple hair, golden eyes, and dark chocolaty skin that was seldom seen in Konoha. A sultry smile on her face as she spoke her own name "Yoruichi Shihoun."

To...

ge...

ther...

WE...

ARE...

"THE UZUMAKI NINJA CAT SQUAD!" they announced and struck a pose, with multi-colored smoke bombs exploding behing them, the scene making numerous Genin blink their eyes wondering what had just happened. The general turned to her subordinates and gave an approving thumbs up.

"Perfect execution! Well done everyone! Now we are a squad that Naruto-sama can be proud of!" Esdeath shouted with her face now beaming, earning cheers from the other cat ladies. In the background Naruto couldn't help but grin at their antics, sure they had some quirks, but they were certainly reliable.

"Naruto... your cats... they could do that the whole time?" Sakura asked with disbelieving eyes, the scene having snapped her out of her distracted stupor from before.

"Told you they were my Familiars." The whiskered teen curtly responded and then whistled for the felines to return. With several nods, they changed back into their cat forms and climbed back into his coat, all the while ignoring the stares from the various Genin in the classroom. Naruto briefly looked over his shoulder and noticed that Kiba had passed out on his feet, clutching at his crotch with his eyes rolled into his head.

"Am I interrupting anything pup?" Asked a female voice in a snarky tone, which drew the attention of the blonde. A broad smile on his face as he was greeted by the sight of Tsume Inuzuka, the mother of both Hana and Kiba, and the Matriarch for the Inuzuka clan. Sitting next to her, was her canine companion Kuromaru, who gave the whiskered teen a nod of respect.

"Tsume-sama. Wasn't expecting to see you here. My feline friends were just teaching Kiba that it's not a good idea to mess with me." The blonde boy explained, pointing his thumb in the direction of the Clan head's son, who gave a simple shrug.

"I'm sure he was trying to start something while trying to act like an Alpha. Anyways, good news pup. Starting today, I'll be your Jonin sensei. Guess that means the pinkette and Uchiha is going to be joining us. Well, come on then brats. We're going to training ground Seven." She spoke, earning an excited nod from Naruto, with both Sakura and Sasuke following her to the aforementioned Training ground. Unsure of what to expect from their new Sensei.

 **Meanwhile.**

"Man. I wish I was back in Konoha. I would've loved to be Naruto-kun's sensei." Muttered the form of Anko Mitarashi as she and a group of Anbu were now investigating a laboratory formerly used by her ex-sensei Orochimaru. For some reason, the lab seemed pretty barren and empty, but there was no signs of dust or cobwebs so he must have frequently visited. Whatever it was that he researched here, it seems he was in a hurry to pack up and leave before Konoha forces arrived.

It made her wonder, what exactly it was he was trying to hide. "Found something." An Anbu called out, pushing aside a large bookshelf that concealed a hidden stairway. The team of Ninja then descended down the stairs where an eerie orange light came from below. For some reason, Anko felt a pit form in her gut as she got a terrible feeling, something was very much wrong here.

When they reached the bottom of the stairs, the Snake Mistress gaped in horror. Numerous tubes filled with glowing orange liquid were stationed across the lab, many malformed and hideous creatures gently bobbing up and down inside. One by one, she inspected the containers, and found that all life signs from each one read as 'negative'.

Until at last she came upon one tube that held a perfectly shaped humanoid inside, the life signs on this one being labeled as 'stable'. "Oh my holy god... this is..." She muttered as she fell to her knees, the numerous Anbu removing their masks revealing their shocked expressions as they stared at the contents of the tube.

"Somebody call somebody." Anko mumbled as tears leaked down her face at the sight before her. Her hand reaching up and gently touching the glass.

"Who... who do we even call?" An Anbu asked as he replaced his mask, unsure what to make of this terrifiying and wonderous discovery.

"Everybody." Was all the Snake Mistress could say, her astonished expression, quickly shifting to anger. "Orochimaru... I don't know what you were planning. But I'll never forgive you for this."

 **Training Ground Seven.**

The newly formed Team Seven was now sitting in front of the trademark stumps of their respective training ground, while Tsume Inuzuka and her canine partner looked over their three new charges. She already was somewhat aware of Naruto's skill set since she had helped train him, so she needed to look at Sakura and Sasuke's records in the Academy.

On paper, one would see that Sakura was an academic genius, but on closer inspection it would be easy to see that she had no skills to put her brain to any practical use, plus her Taijutsu was rather abyssmal to say the least, save for some bursts of Divine Feminine fury if provoked to bolster her almost nonexistent Taijutsu skills. The girl's Chakra levels were also subpar, though this could allow for easier control which could aid in medical and/or Genjutsu type training. But first, the fangirl part of her personality needs to be cut away like a cancer before any real work can be done.

Next came Sasuke Uchiha, the so-called Golden boy of the Academy and a potential candidate for Rookie of the year... until the Sandaime bestowed the latter title onto Naruto after his skillful display in the Genin exam. Supposedly, the Uchiha was some kind of prodigy in Taijutsu and Ninjutsu. However, Tsume believed that his skill and potential was overstated and exaggerated by both Iruka and Mizuki. To her knowledge, Sasuke had some training in his clan's Tajutsu, the Interceptor fist, that gave him a clear advantage over the standard Academy taught Taijutsu.

Plus he already had learned of the Fire Ball Jutsu technique, since mastering it was a rite of passage towards becoming an Elite, a true Shinobi, of the Uchiha clan. Yet another advantage he had gotten earlier on than the other students. While Sasuke may have SOME potential, his greatest weakness was his ego, his belief in Uchiha superiority and his lack of regard for the thoughts and feelings of others. She would need to keep the self-proclaimed avenger on a tight and short leash to keep him under control. Especially on the Hokage's orders given how the boy stole the Forbidden Scroll a bit too eagerly.

Suffice it to say, Tsume was really gonna have her work cut out for her since she had a particularly unstable team here. Luckily Naruto was present to help provide stability and order if she were absent. "All right then. Time for a little test." The Clan head announced and pulled out a single bell, her canine partner chuckling a bit as he knew that Tsume was gonna have some fun with the pups.

"Test? What's that mean Sensei? We already passed the Genin exam." Sakura spoke with a small whine to her voice, earning a sigh of annoyance from the brown haired woman.

"You really think that learning some kiddie jutsu makes you a full fledged Ninja? Wrong! You just have the potential to become a Ninja, now comes the real test. I don't really wanna waste my time on this, so I simplified things for you pups. All you have to do, is convince me to hand over this bell. That's it." Tsume announced while giving the bell a little shake, making it jingle.

"Seems like an overly simplified version of Team Seven's trademark bell test Tsume-san." Naruto commented, since he had heard stories from the Sandaime about the Bell test which had been performed for each carnation of Team Seven, though his statement only earned a shrug from Tsume who didn't seem interested in dragging this out any longer than need be.

Unsurprisingly, Sasuke was the first to try his luck as he lunged forward to snatch the bell away, making the Matriarch yank her hand back to keep the bell out of his reach. The Uchicha then threw a punch to her midsection but she swatted his fist away with ease, and then shoved in open palm into his chest to knock him off-balance. Sasuke stumbled a bit but he regained his footing as he crouched low and sent out a kick to sweep out Tsume's legs from under her, but she avoided it with a small hop. A bored expression quickly formed on her face as the Avenger kept on trying to land a blow on her, but she thwarted every attempt without ever skipping a beat. Finally, having enough playing around, the Uchiha began going through hand-signs to unleash the Fire Ball Jutsu he had learned years ago... only to be cut short when Tsume sent a quick jab to his throat, closing off his windpipe.

Puffs of smoke came from the Uchiha's mouth since he hadn't fully unleashed the jutsu, his hands clutching at his neck as he gasped and wheezed for air, his eyes watering from the plums of black smoke escaping from his lips until he collapsed to his knees. Tsume clicked her tongue in annoyance then turned her attention over to Sakura and jingled the bell, as if baiting the pinkette. "Come on Pinkie Pie. Care to try?" the Inuzuka woman asked while making a 'come here' motion with her finger, prompting the Haruno girl to quickly shake her head 'no'

Naruto chuckled a bit, not finding it surprising that the pinkette would chicken out. Now it was his turn to take a crack at it. In truth, the blonde was probably at mid to high Chunin level right now, but if he could learn to tap into his Bijuu Chakra then he could undoubtedly shatter his current limitations. Still, he knew that this test didn't actually require that much effort if you thought about it. With a smirk, he approached the Matriarch and held out his hand, asking politely "May I please have the bell Tsume-sama?"

Both Sakura and Sasuke gave the whiskered teen a 'Are you serious?' kind of look, but then their jaws dropped to the ground when Tsume dropped the bell into his open palm and then gave him a thumbs up for his accomplishment. "Wait a minute! All we had to do was just ask for the bell? Then what was the whole point of this test then?" Sakura asked in outrage, the Uchiha also looked like he wanted to say something... but smoke was still coming out from between his lips.

"I said you had to convince me. Not actually take the bells from me. And the point is, that you won't be able to solve all your problems with violence, so sometimes you need to think outside the box and try something most people wouldn't expect. In the Shinobi World, nothing is as cut and dry as you might think." Tsume explained earning a chortling sound from her canine partner.

"If you can't understand that much, then you won't last long as Ninja. The stupid ones always die quick. And as your Sensei, it's my job to whip you into shape. Naruto, since you passed my bell test, you're in charge whenever I'm not around. I hereby announce that Team Seven has officially formed and passed the bell test." Tsume announced, prompting the Uchiha to glare at the blonde since he felt that he himself should be in charge. Not some uppity cat obsessed Dobe.

"Grand. It will be nice to work with you and Kuromaru." The whiskered teen spoke with a smile as he left with a small spring in his step.

"Don't forget to meet us at the mission assignment office, tomorrow at ten in the morning! And don't be late!" Tsume called out earning a wave of acknowledgment from the blonde as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. His stomach now rumbled for food and so it was time for him to pay a visit to Ichiraku ramen. After a few minutes of walking, he had finally arrived at his favorite ramen stand.

Sure, he kearned to eat other things besides ramen, but it was still nice to have the occasional treat every now and again... especially if one has to suffer the presence of imbeciles like Sasuke Uchiha and any other Uchiha ass-kissers. When he entered inside, he found that somebody else was already inside, it was a woman with dirty blonde hair wearing a Kumo headband.

Sitting down next to her, the Ichiraku's acknowledged his presence and began making his usual order of ramen, the Uzumaki Deluxe special. The woman next to him turned towards him and asked "Do I know you from somewhere?"

"No. I would think that I'd remember meeting a lovely lady like you." He replied charmingly as he waited patiently for his order. But he could feel that this stranger was currently staring at him for some reason.

"There's something awfully familiar about you. And I can't put my finger on... sorry. Where are my manners? Yugito Nii. Kunoichi of Kumo and Nibi Jinchuuriki." The woman introduced herself with a smile, her introduction now fully earning the whiskered teen's attention.

"Naruto Uzumaki. Kyuubi Jinchuuriki at your service." he responded and gave a brief two-fingered salute to his fellow Jinchuuriki. Her face now beaming with excitement.

"Ohhhhhh! So that's why you felt so familiar to me! It's nice to meet another Jinchuuriki." She replied happily since she hadn't expected to meet another of her kind in Konoha so soon.

"Indeed. I think Lady Luck wanted us to meet." Naruto spoke with a smile, the Ichiraku's finished preparing his ramen with Ayame presenting it to him, giving him a bright smile as he accepted his meal and began to dig into it after a brief 'Itadakimassu'. Though his statement about Lady Luck confused the Nibi container a bit.

"Lady Luck, eh? You sure about that?" She asked almost skeptically, wondering if he was serious or was using some kind of cheesy pick up line. Though, he didn't seem to actually be trying to hit on her just yet.

"Absolutely. What are the odds of meeting another Jinchuuriki in my favorite place to eat? Seems Lady Luck brought us together for a certain reason. Though I am curious. What brings a Kumo Kunoichi, and the Nibi Jinchuuriki to boot, all the way to Konoha?" The whiskered teen asked with a raised eyebrow, his question making her stiffen up slightly.

"That's classified." She replied bluntly, not wanting to answer him. Her response earning a look of suspicion from her fellow blonde.

"That's one way to say 'mind your own business'. Would it have something to do with these pictures?" Naruto asked while holding up some photos of the Hyuuga compound, its patrolling guards, and of both Hinata and Hanabi Hyuuga, making the Nibi Jinchuuriki pale in horror as she patted her clothes widly, wondering how he lifted those off of her without her noticing. Although a certain Goddess of Flash may have had something to do with it, unknown to Yugito.

"Not planning another Hyuuga kidnapping are you? I thought the last time was lesson enough as it was. Guess the message didn't quite get across last time." Naruto explained, referring to the incident when Kumo attempted to kidnap Hinata.

"Please... I had no choice... they threatened my sister. Samui. They said they'd... do things to her if I didn't cooperate." Yugito tried to explain, her eyes watering with tears that soon spilled down her cheeks, earning a look of sympathy from her fellow blonde. Already guessing those 'things' may have involved rape or something of the like.

"Why not report them to your Raikage? I hear that the Yondaime Raikage is hard-headed, but a good guy." Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow, the answer he received was in the form of Yugito sticking her tongue out and exposing a seal placed on it.

"If I try to report their wrongdoings to the Raikage, that seal will slice out my tongue and I'll end up drowning in my own blood." she explained, earning a nod from the Kyuubi container as he ate his ramen while pondering what to do on the subject.

"What if you explained the situation to the Hokage, and then he contacts your Raikage?" Naruto asked, offering a solution to her predicament. The Nibi container's face lit up since she hadn't thought of that, and then mentally kicked herself for her own stupidity.

"That could work. But how long does it take to get an appointment with the Sandaime Hokage?" Yugito asked, earning a chuckle from her fellow blonde.

"Why wait? We can just go up to his office." Naruto replied as he finished his ramen and then placed the money he owed onto the counter, plus a generous tip for his favorite ramen waitress.

"Just like that?" She asked, wondering if it was a good idea to burst in on a Kage out of the blue as she also payed for her meal and got up from her seat to follow her newfound friend to the Hokage's office.

"Sure. I do it all the time. I told you Lady Luck brought us together for a reason! Now, let's get going!" Naruto spoke and then grabbed the Nibi container by the wrist and started to run towards the Hokage tower with the Kumo Kunoichi trailing behind him as she struggled to keep up with him.

"Hey! Slow down!" Yugito called out as she struggled to regain her footing as she was almost being dragged behind the whiskered teen. From inside her seal, the Nibi herself was chuckling and muttered **"I like him Kitten. He smells like cats and foxes. And he seems to be a caring and considerate person. I think you should follow him to his apartment and 'thank' him for his assistance by rocking his world."**

The Nibi's words earned a blush on Yugito's face as she tried to ignore her tenant's pervy antics... only to find herself being yanked upwards as Naruto leapt high into the air, taking her with him. "My friend Maito Gai, taught me this one! **Dynamic Entry!** " The blonde yelled out as he proceeded to kick out the window of the Hokage.

"You're crazy!" Yugito screamed out as she covered her eyes, knowing this was not going to end well.

 **Two minutes earlier. Hokage office.**

"What do you mean that Kakashi is not Team Seven's Sensei?" Asked the form of Kizashi Haruno with a scowl, his arms crossed over his chest as he tried to stare down the Sandaime. Hiruzen sighed tiredly as he continued to file paperwork, on top of having to deal with the pink haired man's whining.

"Last I checked, you're of the Civilian Council. And I, as the Hokage, get the final say on Shinobi and village matters. Besides, it couldn't be helped. Kakashi is in the hospital for treatment of prostate cancer, and I had to find somebody else on short notice. Tsume was fortunately gracious enough to take the position." The Sandaime answered in stern tone, growing increasingly annoyed at the Ex-Shinobi for his attitude and acting like he was in charge of things.

"We agreed that Kakashi was to train the Uchiha!" Kizashi growled out, throwing his hands up in anger before crossing his arms yet again.

"We agreed on nothing. I said that I'd give it some thought. And frankly, I feel better that Sasuke is under the supervision of someone with no emotional attachments to the Uchihas. Kakashi's connection with his late teammate Obito could easily get in the way of his judgment." the Sandaime retorted with increasing anger, almost feeling the urge to call for his Anbu guard to throw the bum out.

Before the pink haired parasite could argue further a shout of 'Dynamic Entry' followed by a 'You're crazy!' was heard as a pair of figures crashed through the office windows, a foot impacting Kizashi sqaure in the face, causing him to be sent flying through the office door and into the wall out in the hallway. When the dust settled, it was revealed to be Naruto himself making a peace sign with his fingers while holding onto the wrist of a woman with some swirls in her eyes.

"Did I hit somebody?" The blonde boy asked as he looked at the form of Kizashi and found the pink haired man to still be breathing. "Oh. So that's who I hit. Good, was worried I actually hit somebody important. Lady Luck smiles on me again." The whiskered teen spoke as he scratched the side of his cheek.

Hiruzen however was relieved at the interruption, though he wished the boy hadn't smashed his way through the windows. The Sandaime now somewhat regretted letting the boy learn some of Gai's techniques... though it was definitely worth it to see Kizashi getting kicked in the face like that. "Ah. Naruto my boy! Welcome! What can I do for you? And who's the lovely lady you brought with you?" The Sandaime asked, noticing that the newcomer had a Kumo headband.

"This is Yugito Nii. Kumo's Nibi Jinchuuriki. I kidnapped her and am planning to hold her for ransom." Naruto briefly answered, earning a nod from the Sandaime... until it clicked in his mind the boy's exact words. Making the Hokage slam his hands against the desk and scream "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"

"Nah. Not in the slightest. Was just messing with you." Naruto replied back with a small laugh, which earned a sigh of relief from the Sandaime as he set himself back into his seat and lit his favorite pipe.

"Good grief. Don't go saying weird things like that. Being Hokage is stressful enough as it is. And here you are making bad jokes to kill me with a heart attack." Hiruzen grumbled in a joking tone as he rubbed his temples. After this exchange, Yugito managed to catch her second wind and got her bearings. Dusting herself off before bowing to the Sandaime.

"Hokage-sama. I'm sorry for the intrusion. But... I need your help. My sister is unknowingly being held hostage by Kumo's Shinobi council, and they have tasked me with kidnapping either Hinata or Hanabi Hyuuga." Yugito spoke, quickly explaining her situation and then urging Naruto to show the photographs that he had stolen from her earlier. The whiskered teen neatly laying out the pictures on the desk for Hiruzen to see as he registered her words.

"You are a brave young woman to come to me like this. I take it that Kumo's Shinobi Council must be Sandaime Raikage loyalists yes? That was a much darker chapter in Kumo's history. But why come to me? Why not report them directly to your Yondaime?" Hiruzen asked with a raised eyebrow as he took a drag from his pipe. The answer he received was Yugito sticking out her tongue, showing the seal placed on it.

"Barbarians." Hiruzen muttered angrily at the fact that a Kunoichi was being taken advantage of and used against her will like this. "I'll send word to the Yondaime Raikage and alert him of the situation. We can discuss things more in-depth on his arrival. I appreciate you coming directly to me so that another incident can be avoided. Naruto-kun? Would you be so kind as to take this young woman to your home? I think she would feel more comfortable in the protective custody of a fellow Jinchuuriki." he asked, earning a nod of agreement from the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki.

"Would be my pleasure. That okay with you Yugito-san?" The blonde boy asked, prompting the Nibi container to nod her head 'yes'.

"If it isn't too much trouble. Then, yes. I'd be glad to." She replied and quickly followed him out of the office so that they may head to his apartment. "Great. Hope you don't mind having another roommate. I have somebody else staying there too. Her name is Natsuhi, I think you'll like her." Naruto replied as he guided her to his home, in a much more gentle manner than before.

Upon leaving, the form of the Anbu Neko appeared and gave Kizashi a sideways glance before entering the office. "Gai or Naruto-kun?" She asked, pointing a thumb in the pink haired man's direction, who's body was occasionally twitching.

"It was Naruto-kun this time. And don't bother calling medics. Now, what needs my attention Neko-san?" The Sandaime asked, gesturing to the folders in her hands which likely contained sensitive information for his eyes only.

"Anko Mitarashi reported on her discoveries at Orochimaru's hidden lab. She is on her way now with one of the specimens. And she says that you must see it for yourself to believe it. Secondly, in Wave country, Gato is hosting a high stakes poker tournament with a five million ryo buy-in. It is suspected that Gato is rigging the game in his favor, so that he may use the funds to aid Oto. Our sources also have reason to believe that Orochimaru himself is strongly involved with Oto and is likely doing business with Gato himself." Neko reported and then gave the files over to the Hokage for him to read over.

"I see... this is troubling. But... I think I have just the ninja for this job." Hiruzen stated with a grin, earning a nod of agreement from the Anbu since they both knew of a certain someone who claimed to have Lady Luck in his corner, who so happened to be a skilled card player just as well. If he couldn't pull it off, then no one could.

 **Elsewhere.**

In the apartment of Kakashi Hatake, a crash sound was heard as a hawk had crashed through the window, believing its reflection to be a rival hawk encroaching on its turf. The bird screeched in confusion before regaining its bearings, stretching out its wings and nipping its feathers. The bird then took off and flew out the window back into the open skies. Unknown to the bird, there was a photograph stuck in its talons. A picture of Kakashi and his team when he was still a student of the Yondaime.

Suddenly the picture slipped off the Hawk's talons and was blown away by a powerful gust of wind that continued to carry the picture far, far away out from Konoha... and continued to fly towards Ame.

 **End chapter two.**

 **Bonus scene: The bad death of Iruka Umino. (No one will miss him.)**

"Finally." Iruka grumbled as he was now finally free of his gate guard duties for the day and immediately left to go back to his apartment. All the while thinking about strangling one Naruto Uzumaki to death for the loss of his job, and making him look bad in front of the Sandaime. Passing the blame onto the boy for everything bad in his life, just to try and make himself feel better.

Unknown to him, there was a hole developing in the back pants pocket where he keeps his wallet. And then a loud rip sound was heard prompting Iruka to turn and see that his wallet had fallen to the ground, making him inspect the back of his pants and find the hole. With a grumble he reached down to grab the wallet, only for a squirrel to run by, followed by a barking dog chasing after the rodent. The canine knocking Iruke back and its legs kicking the wallet into a nearby sewer grate.

"Oh come on!" The Scarred Chunin shouted as he shook his head, and reached down into the grate to retrieve his lost wallet. Except a loud hissing sound was heard, followed by a loud chomp. The sounds of crunching bone and tearing flesh could be heard as Iruka began screaming in pain. When he at last freed his arm, his hand was gone and nothing was left but a bloody stump with blood spewing out and bone visible.

With a desperate cry, he began to ran towards the hospital as quickly as possible. However, his scream had roused a sleeping bull that was inside of a pen with a sign that read 'Quiet please. Angry bull', the shrill noise of his screaming quickly alerting It to his presence. With a snort and a bellow, the bull charged, breaking out of it's confines and impaled Iruka through the back with its horns. The angry bovine then began to buck violently to shake him off, causing the Chunin's limp body to fly through the window of a nearby meat packing plant where his corpse fell into a meat grinder.

The workers never noticed Iruka's body falling into the meat grinder since they were all on lunch break, only finding a broken window. Meanwhile, the machinary did its job as the now deceased Chunin's body was already packaged and prepped for delivery. The meat of Iruka Umino was later shipped to Konoha prison where it was cooked into chili and stew for the inmates, most particularly pedophiles, rapists, the worst kinds of criminals.

No one bothered reporting Iruka was missing, and no one even cared. As was deserving of a useless and unimportant Chunin who neglected in his duties.

 **End bonus scene.**

 **Next time: While Naruto cares for his new house-guests, it seems that Hiruzen already has a mission in mind for Team Seven. And it'll be up to Tsume to encourage discipline into her team. Meanwhile, in the background, bizarre occurences seem to be taking place. What are they leading up to?**

 **A/N: Sorry for the delay. Had a small case of writer's block. Love or hate the chapter, that's up to the reader. You can't please everyone so I don't bother trying. Feedback and suggestions are always welcome. Also, I am trying to break my bad habit of constantly posting new fics instead of focusing on what I have. So, I shall attempt restricting myself to at least four stories at a time.**

 **Next updates (in order.):**

 **Naruto x Fuka challenge fic. (Filler girl from Faux Kyuubi arc. Challenge offered by XXX777)**

 **CounterAttack on Titan V2. (Rewrite of Naruto x Attack on Titan xover.)**

 **Toxic Love ch.4**

 **Fortune Favors the Bold ch.3**

 **Look forward to my next updates. And thank you all for your patience, support and understanding.**


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